I’ve been away for about a month.  Baby girl and I have been beaching it – between our cottage (on weekends, with daddy) and my parents’ cottage (with my mom, what a great Grammy!) but now it’s time to settle in at home and start thinking about getting out the sweaters and firing up the slow cooker.

I feel tremendously blessed to be off work for the year, and to have had the summer we just experienced.  It has been the most spectacular summer anyone can recall, ever.  My neighbour told me today he and his wife have lived here for 30 years and it was the best summer they’ve seen.  I believe it.  We live on the salt-and-fog-swept coast of Eastern Canada…rarely do we have this much heat and sunshine.

Needless to say we’ve been outside a lot.  Little Sugar loves everything about the outdoors.  She loves grass and sand, water and wind and for the most part, she’s smiled through the heat.  We’ve spent the majority of our time under umbrella, but every once in a while we donned our fashionable sunhats and snuck out from the cool shade for a dip in the ocean, which has been deliciously warm.

The summer has been lucious and lazy – almost dream-like…but not perfect.  Far from it.  It seems I do just fine, thank you, and am most happy when it’s girls only…just me and the baby or when visiting my mom.  Bring daddy into the picture, and things have been rough.

Mr. Speedbump and I have had a rocky few months.  Perhaps it’s too much time apart during the week, but we don’t seem to be gelling as parents – at least not the way I often fantasized we would.  Our communication is waaay off and we are both very irritable and quick to criticize the other.  It is NOT what I dreamed about for all these years. 

Part of me is not all that surprised.  We were married for 7.5 years – together for 10.5 – before baby.  We’d become accustomed to child-free living and it was, for the most part, pretty sweet.  

Enter baby – the one we never gave up on, but got used to living without.  It’s bound to take some adjustment…right??

One thing I know for sure is that we are very committed to our marriage and to being good parents…and we also know we can’t continue to pick at each other within earshot of our darling girl.  It simply can’t happen.

So we’ll work on it.  I just hope and pray we can make it all fit.  We’ve come too far and waited too long for things to fall apart.

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