Dear Someday Baby,

This past weekend made me realize even Halloween is painful.  I mean, it really is all about kids…and the only kids that costumes actually look cute on are the little ones…and Facebook is alive and kicking with all the “baby’s first Halloween” photo albums.  Our neighbours brought their 18-month-old daughter over in her princess dress.  She had no idea what was going on, but her parents were beaming with pride.  Halloween is weird that way – for the first few years it really is more about the parents.

But I am fully aware of why they are beaming.  They are filled with love and pride, happy to take advantage of one of the few occasions in the year where you can dress up your child(ren) and parade them around from door to door.  I get it. I really do.

It’s just that these occasions pierce my heart.  I spend a lot of my time and energy protecting it.  It is a daily chore.  I learned long ago how important it is – the heart can only take so much. 

But I’m not giving up. I will try to keep the faith that I’ll be posting my own photo albums someday.  We’ll get there.

For now I think I’ll go eat more leftover chips.

Love you already,